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zoo keeper

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 3:19 pm
by ianbcr
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First
Is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.

As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is
Boss, he beats it to death with a spade.

Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by
Feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is
Attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts.

He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both..
What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because
Lions eat anything...

He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South
American Bees.

As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and
Smashes the bees to a pulp.

By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because
Lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.
He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?"

The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with
Mushy Bees

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:32 pm
by big rob
this little ditty had us 'roaring' with laughter :lol:

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 7:22 pm
by Paul
Very good. The variation I heard had him first cleaning out the aviary where he was attached by the finches, which he beat to death with the spade and fed to the lions, to give the punch line of "finch and chimps and mushy bees".

I'll get me coat... :oops:

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 8:10 pm
by Blackal
A Family went to the zoo . The zoo only had one animal...a dog .

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It was a shit zoo


Al :oops:

Posted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:15 pm
by bobtail
Blackal wrote:A Family went to the zoo . The zoo only had one animal...a dog .

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It was a shit zoo


Al :oops:
Ah yes the old ones are the best :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:58 pm
by Bikerhoss
bobtail wrote:Ah yes the old ones are the best :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I'm sure Al will be delighted with that compliment :lol:

Posted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:52 pm
by johnny 5
He He chuckle chuckle..... funny :lol:

Posted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 8:28 pm
by el-nicko
bobtail wrote:
Blackal wrote:A Family went to the zoo . The zoo only had one animal...a dog .

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It was a shit zoo


Al :oops:
Ah yes the old ones are the best :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
they not old if you not heard 'em before. :wink:

Posted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 8:32 pm
by el-nicko
big rob wrote:this little ditty had us 'roaring' with laughter :lol:
Me too. (see wot u did there Rob :wink:)

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 11:17 am
by The Teutonic Tangerine
Ah yes the old ones are the best :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:[/quote]

And the most grateful :oops: