ELECTRICAL THEORY

Got some humour to share? The stage is lit and the microphone's live.

Moderators: Gromit, Paul, slparry

User avatar
Blackal
Posts: 8261
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:53 pm

ELECTRICAL THEORY

Postby Blackal » Sat Feb 20, 2021 6:00 pm

Positive grounding depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as smoke".

This has been referred to as the smoke theory as when the smoke comes out its finished, cooked or done for.

Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterwards.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires. It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tyres leak air.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd
If I am ever on life support - Unplug me......
Then plug me back in..........

See if that works .....
:?

User avatar
simon
Member
Posts: 874
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Northumberland

Re: ELECTRICAL THEORY

Postby simon » Sat Feb 20, 2021 9:34 pm

As Plato said.. ergo sum caveat habeus ex machina ... I don't think you'd have any disagreement from Spock..
Joe Lucas, Prince of Darkness has done to encourage other countries electrical engineering (apart from Veglia.. I lost track of the speedos my Bonneville went through).
Simon, now with a third
Yellow '98 R1100S
(..a bit more gimpy tho' [smilie=crutch.gif])


Return to “Humour”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests