As it's coming towards Christmas

[Taz]

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining", he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.

"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing".

As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course", he replied, and walked on.

But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which the man quietly replied:

"Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear".

[Blackal]

It didn't get a laugh 5 yrs ago, but here goes again...........

A tired young doctor got off a night shift at the hospital and stopped into a bar called "Dick's" across the street for a drink.
"Hey what can I get you?" asked Dick.
"How about a daiquiri?"
The bartender makes a drink and slides it down the bar.
He takes a sip and loves it. "Whoa that's great. What's your secret?"
"A little bit of almond extract. Gives it a little something extra." The two hit it off and a lifelong friendship develops.
One night the doctor enters and like clockwork the bartender goes to make his favorite drink only to realize that all the almond extract is gone. Thinking on his feet he substitutes it with a little hickory on hand.
The doctor takes a sip. A little confused, he takes another...
"Is this an almond daiquiri, Dick?"
"No, it's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."

[Blackal]

And - back to the theme of the original post............


Two viking teddy boys, called Olaf and Eric, came to England for Christmas. Whilst there they decided to tour the country via rail.


On the train Olaf started to drink quite a lot of proper English ale and became quite offensive, he started swearing at the staff, the other passengers, making obscene gestures and bearing his arse to all and sundry

Eventually the Inspector came to ask him to calm down.

Eric being sober explained

'Rude Olaf the ted loathes train beer'

[HerrFlick]